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Are Marriages made in heaven?

It is often con­ve­nient to believe that mar­riages are made in heav­en because we don’t have to take per­son­al respon­si­bil­i­ty for them. In the Indi­an con­text, mar­riage is a key mile­stone in a per­son­’s life. Lead­ing the life of a Gri­hastha is a path in itself. The aim of the Indi­an mar­riages was not only to keep the cou­ple unit­ed but also cre­ate a plat­form to work towards a high­er pos­si­bil­i­ty. The sacred thread rep­re­sent­ed the nadis or ener­gy chan­nels of the cou­ples which was inter­twined dur­ing the mar­riage sym­bol­iz­ing exchange and inter­de­pen­dence of ener­gies.

Abra­ham Maslow was a psy­chol­o­gist in the 1940s. He talked about the hier­ar­chy of needs of humans: phys­i­o­log­i­cal, safe­ty, emo­tion­al, esteem and self-actu­al­iza­tion. When we look at cer­tain failed mar­riages around us, most of them are stuck at the low­er needs. Lot of time and ener­gy is spent on tak­ing care of these very “basic” needs: secu­ri­ty, cloth­ing, shel­ter etc. When the fam­i­ly as whole works towards cer­tain high­er aspi­ra­tions, some com­mon high­er goals, then these basic needs can be self-man­aged and kept aside with­out too much fuss. When a fam­i­ly sets a vision for itself, every mem­ber of the fam­i­ly under­stand his/her indi­vid­ual role in mak­ing the vision a real­i­ty. The mem­bers become limbs of an organ­ism mov­ing in per­fect coor­di­na­tion. This cre­ates har­mo­ny and a deep sense of sat­is­fac­tion. When we are stuck in the low­er needs of mere­ly sat­is­fy­ing our emo­tions or ego, there is frus­tra­tion, a deep sense of dis­sat­is­fac­tion and an urge to run away from fam­i­ly respon­si­bil­i­ties. The suc­cess of mar­riage lies in how fast they resolve these basic needs and move towards high­er aspi­ra­tions. Mar­riages are sure made in heaven..the heav­en that we cre­ate for our­selves.


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